Thwarted Longing
by SpaceDreamer
Summary: For three hundred years, Lord Scourge has lived under a terrible curse imposed upon him during his time serving as the Emperor's executioner. Now he is a fugitive, teamed in an uneasy alliance with a talented Twi'lek Jedi. Against the Council's advice, Master Tal'ilavi attempts to cure Scourge, willing to risk the consequences of restoring a powerful Sith to his full potential.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Are you sure you don't want me to come along? You know, in case Old Tentacle Face tries something funny?"

Twi'lek Jedi Master Tal'ilavi turned around to see her Padawan standing in the doorway of the small transport ship.

"Thanks, Kira. But if he does, he'll regret it."

Kira may have been Tal'ilavi's Padawan, but in reality, Tali thought of her as more of a sister. Tali's childhood had been spent on the streets of Nar Shaddaa, as had Kira's, and both had come into the Jedi Order at a older age than was norm. Kira's irreverent humor and casual manner may have ruffled a few of the more traditional Jedi, but Tali could relate and felt right at home in her company. And Tali wasn't a typical Jedi herself.

Maybe it was because Tali's Force sensitivity had been discovered late, giving her many formative years in the company of rascals and vagabonds, but Tali's philosophy was to trust her gut instinct over blind rule following any day. And now, after a string of impressive achievements, the Jedi Council gave her considerable freedom, preferring to focus on her results and less on her methods, as long as she didn't venture too far afield. And so it was that Tali had abandoned the unpalatable notion that Jedi needed to be vigilant in avoiding so called "attachments," and had instead welcomed a strong friendship with Kira.

Tali may not have taken to a strict interpretation of Jedi rules, but recently she had gone and broken a pretty big one. She had allied herself with a notorious Pureblood Sith with a rather fearsome reputation, and over the past few months, the two of them had developed a workable - if tense - relationship. Scourge had been ornery and difficult at times, but Tali had found him to be curious and interesting company. In spite of their differences, Scourge and Tali shared the same goal. They both had wanted to stop the Sith Emperor from completing a devastating ritual intended to destroy the galaxy. Scourge had given invaluable help in tracking down the Emperor in his lair. In the end, all of her crew, even Scourge, had been granted the Republic Cross of Glory for their heroism in defeating the Emperor.

"I just don't trust him, Tali. Why couldn't he say whatever it was over the holo? Why insist upon it being in person?"

Tali tried to give Kira her most reassuring smile. "Lord Scourge has been true to his word so far. I still plan to be careful, though, you can count on that."

Kira let out a resigned sigh. "I'm here to if you need me. Be safe out there."

Tali gave Kira a nod and one final wave before turning to head up the trail. In truth, she was concerned. Scourge had ended their partnership a week ago on friendly terms - if any relationship with a Sith could be called "friendly" - and she had heard nothing from him until today, when he had sent her a cryptic holocall.

"We need to speak again, Jedi." Even when seen in miniature over holo, Scourge cut a forbidding figure. At least over holo Tali didn't have to put a cramp in her neck just trying to talk to him, which was an improvement. He glared at Tali from under his strong eyebrow ridges, his face set in a permanent frown. Was it simply a part of their biology that made all Sith Purebloods look so perpetually angry? Tali had tried to joke with him on occasion, but usually he just glowered at her without saying a word, although once she had gotten an eye roll out of him.

"What's this about?" she asked.

"The Emperor. I will say no more than that. This is not a conversation to be had over holocommunicator."

And so Tali had agreed to meet with him at his designated coordinates, which ended up being on this rocky mesa on the planet Makeb. Make that a remote, windy, cliffside mesa with nothing but blue sky and death-inducing drops all around it. Tali paused. Was Scourge luring her here to kill her?

Tali disliked the thought that Scourge would turn against her, but long ago he had betrayed the last two Jedi whom he had joined forces with. He had been unapologetic in relaying this story to her, claiming that in the end, he had delivered them to the Emperor in order to secure his own life once he foresaw that they would fail in their quest. She was different however, or so he'd led her to believe. He had seen a vision of the true Jedi who would defeat the Emperor and that Jedi, he claimed, was her. Flattering to be sure, until Tali realized that Scourge believed in the truth of this vision wholeheartedly and was not just trying to win her over.

He wanted to speak with her about the Emperor now, but the Emperor was dead. Tali had stepped over his lifeless body herself after striking him down. Yet, shortly after the battle, Scourge had expressed doubts. His concern had all but forgotten in the wake of the crew being showered with accolades and awards. Tali had meant to ask Scourge about it, but the conversation had never happened.

Anxiety gripped her. Scourge had one, single minded goal and that was to see the Emperor stopped. If he wanted to talk about the Emperor now, and feared the holo call being overheard, it could mean only one thing. The Emperor was still alive. The thought filled her with dismay. She recalled all she and her crew had worked so hard for, the sacrifices they had given, the courage they had shown. How could she face them to tell them it was not over?

If the Emperor was not dead, then that meant she had failed, or failed in Scourge's eyes at least. And that also meant Scourge's interpretation of this vision had been wrong. Tali's thoughts wrestled themselves in her head. What new treachery he might be planning? Years ago, Tali might have approached Scourge assuming innocent intentions. But now, circumstances had changed, the galaxy had changed, she had changed. She drew her lightsaber and held the hilt at the ready as she ascended the final loop of the trail.

At the top of the mesa was a tall rock formation, and there in front of it, Tali spotted Scourge, standing with his arms folded, waiting. He was alone.

Tali crept off the trail and began to circle around. Lord Scourge was a formidable opponent, but Tali had defeated him once before, and had brought the Emperor himself to his knees. She was alert and cautious, but she was confident as well. If it came to it, Scourge would not escape here alive.

She kept her footsteps silent and sure, until Scourge's back came into view. He showed no sign that he had detected her, and so Tali readied herself for the attack. She would not kill him outright, but she would make it so he had little choice but to surrender.

She leapt out from behind the rock, igniting her lightsaber in midair. She landed on her feet and thrust the glowing blade at his throat, stopping just before impact.

Scourge's hand flew to his belt, but he quickly drew back and held out his hands instead. Tali was pleased to see that she had clearly taken him by surprise.

"Oh, my clever little Jedi." There was mirth in Scourge's red eyes. "You are wise to keep such close tabs on me. But this time, you are mistaken. Lower your lightsaber. There is no need for this."

"How about you just tell me what you came here to say?"

"No. I don't like that arrangement."

Scourge became a momentary blur as he pivoted on the balls of his feet, pushing her back with a wave of dark energy. She flew backwards, coming perilously close to the edge of the mesa, and saw out of the corner of her vision Scourge's own lightsaber called to his hand in an instant. Tali lunged forward again in an Force-enhanced leap, but he met her, blade for blade, blocking her strike. Their sabers stalled at an impasse, sputtering together, and Scourge looked down at her.

He was unusually calm. Tali felt a spark of annoyance kindle inside her.

"I won't let you get away with this," she said. "I have brought the Emperor low, and I will defeat him again if I have to, with or without your help."

"You misunderstand my intentions. I am not here to kill you."

"Could've fooled me. Why are you resisting now?"

"This is not a discussion I want to have at the end of your blade. Put away your weapon and we will talk in a civilized manner."

Was it a trick? Tali reached out and lightly touched Scourge's mind. She was hesitant to do this, because with every attempt to link with him, however small, he gained a new advantage over her. He was adept at discerning the weaknesses of others, and Tali was wary of letting him get too close.

She felt no deception in him however, only amusement and, oddly, a smug satisfaction. Tali drew away, taking a few cautious steps backwards.

Scourge put away his lightsaber. "Such fire in you. You have missed your true calling."

"What do you want, Scourge?"

"The Emperor's body is dead, but his essence survives. I am sure of it."

"Doesn't that invalidate your vision?"

"My vision is true. The Emperor is no longer the ruling power in this galaxy. He is greatly weakened, but we must make sure that he never recovers."

Then, unexpectedly, Scourge dropped to one knee before her. "I wish to reaffirm my loyalty to you. I will fight at your side until the Emperor's influence is vanquished for good."

Tali said nothing, too startled to speak. Scourge was closer to her height when kneeling than he was when standing. He was searching her face, waiting for a response, his red eyes intent.

"Do you doubt me?" Scourge's voice was quiet. "I have never been dishonest with you, Jedi."

"No, I believe you." Tali sheathed the hilt of her lightsaber. "I accept your offer."

"Good." Scourge rose. "We cannot touch the Emperor now while he languishes in a disembodied state. But we can assure that he has no assistance in recouping his strength. He has other servants who still do his bidding. They will be hard to locate, but if we could eliminate them, the Emperor will find that he has no foothold left in this galaxy. This could take time, Jedi."

Scourge's eyes locked with hers, and Tali felt like there was some unspoken question being asked here. She guessed he was implying that this next partnership of theirs could be a long lasting one. She may not have trusted Scourge, but she found herself not displeased by the thought of working alongside him once again. In spite of his threatening appearance, he was not a stereotypical Sith brute. He was intelligent and well spoken, and their verbal sparring had kept her on her toes. He made life, well, _interesting_.

"Your help is welcome."

"I doubt the rest of your crew will be so eager to welcome me back." Scourge fell into step alongside her as they descended the trail. His shadow easily enveloped hers as they walked. Tali couldn't shake the feeling that she was broaching new territory with this renewed alliance.

00o00

The droid was cleaning the galley kitchen when Tali entered.

"What do you want me to do with this meal, Master?" He pointed to an untouched plate on the counter. Tali knew immediately whose it was.

"I'll take care of it." She picked it up and made her way through the ship to the storage room. Scourge had taken over his usual spot now that he was back on her starship. He had refused to sleep in the crew quarters, claiming that his presence disturbed the rest of the crew and made it impossible for anyone, him included, to get any sleep. Tali had not disagreed and had given him a cot in the storage room of the ship. It was not the most glamorous of quarters, but it was clean and quiet, and Scourge seemed to prefer it. The door was cracked open, but Tali knocked anyway.

"Come in."

Tali stepped in to find Scourge seated on his cot, reading a datapad. He dwarfed the tiny bed, his weight sinking into the thin mattress, lowering it so close to the floor that his knees were practically up by his chin.

"You forgot to eat again." She held out the tray.

"Right." Scourge dropped the datapad and rose, taking the tray from her. He began shoveling food into his mouth as if clearing the plate was a chore that he wanted to finish as soon as possible.

"Don't forget to breathe while you're at it."

Scourge paused long enough make a huffing noise and shot her one of his typical red eyed glares. "It's sustenance, nothing more."

Scourge's long years of tenure as the Emperor's personal executioner had wrought changes in him. When Tali had first met Scourge, she was shocked to discover that he claimed to be immortal, saying the Emperor had altered him through a combination of Sith alchemy and dark ritual. Since then, Tali had seen Scourge survive wounds that no mortal should have been able to heal from, and a little digging had turned up records confirming that he had occupied the position of Emperor's Wrath for over three hundred years. Now he was a fugitive, and another Wrath had been appointed in his place, yet he remained tethered to the Emperor still, linked in ways that Tali did not quite comprehend.

"So...I'm sorry I almost tried to kill you the other day." _We're off to an awkward start_, Tali thought.

Scourge looked up and raised an eyebrow. "You were thinking like a Sith. I approve."

"That's exactly what I don't like about it."

There was the faintest curve to his lip. Was it a smile? He thrust the empty plate back at her and started to turn away before she could decide. Tali changed the subject.

"Is there any way to break the Emperor's hold on you?"

He tossed her a glance over his shoulder and picked up the datapad again. "The Emperor is stronger than any Jedi or Sith. No one can escape him."

"But he is weakened now. Perhaps with some help, we could set you free of him. Maybe even restore your...well, everything you have lost."

Scourge shrugged. "It is the price of immortality."

"But is the price you paid worth it?"

Scourged rounded on her. "To lose everything that made me Sith? Taste, smell, touch, color, emotion - the Emperor and I experience _none_ of these things. Immortality is nothing but a burden. To experience these simple pleasures again, would be worth…" he paused, closing his eyes, "anything."

For a moment, Tali could think of nothing to say. Even the most strict Jedi would never forbid such basic joys. Tali tried to imagine not being able to see the colors in a beautiful sunset or enjoy a stroll through a scented garden. The thought horrified her. Yet every day, Scourge lived a life of such extreme asceticism that even those things were denied to him. No one deserved to live like that, not even Scourge.

"I'll see what I can do." As Tali left, Scourge waved a hand dismissively at her. _He doesn't believe it can be done. I wonder if I can prove him wrong._

* * *

_Author's Note: I never intended to write about Scourge, although I always wanted to. He was intimidating and problematic in many ways, and I didn't think I could do him justice. But Scourge's conversations are so steeped in innuendo and he's just begging to be written about...and so I gave in. Please consider this just a fun little "What if?" fantasy. Rating may change in the future.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

In a blur of brilliant green, Tali's lightsaber sliced the armored mercenary in half, and she whirled to block the blaster fire of another who was sitting on a turret nearby. Out of the corner of her eye she was aware of Scourge fighting beside her, cutting through their opponents like a moving mountain of destruction. She had fought many Sith, and was used to their fierce yells and taunts, but Scourge was a silent menace, dispatching enemies with rarely a word. She may not have been able to trust Lord Scourge, but together in battle they were unstoppable.

As his opponent fell, Scourge leapt towards the Regulator who was shooting at Tali from the turret, landing on the foothold of the seat. The man's head snapped in Scourge's direction, a look of surprise and terror stamped on his face. Scourge raised his fist and for a moment it lit up as he encased it in a net of Force lightning, then he drove it into the man's face. The Regulator was knocked clear off the turret, killed before his body had even left the chair.

From up on a ledge Tali caught movement. Another Regulator was there, fumbling with an object on his belt. He yanked a detonator from its hold and drew his arm back to throw.

Tali hurled her lightsaber at him, tossing it into a spin, and it flew through the air in a perfectly aimed strike. But she had not been fast enough, and she saw the detonator leave his hand. She threw out a wave of Force energy, blowing the detonator back towards the mercenary camp, but before she could see where it was aimed to land, a furred shape jumped from the ledge and bashed into her. She had heard of the Regulators taming the local beasts here on Makeb, but this thing was acting anything but tame. She called forth a bubble of Force power to protect herself and drove her elbow into the creature's throat. From between the animal's front paws she could see her lightsaber lying on the ledge next to the dead body of the Regulator. She she pulled it to her with Force power, then thrust the glowing blade up through the creature's chest. It howled in a death cry and she kicked it off her.

Before she could stand, a shadow fell over her and a huge arm yanked her to her feet. Then Scourge's voice was in her ear.

"Detonator hit an ammunitions pile. Run!"

Tali spun on her toes, nearly losing her balance, and threw herself into a Force powered jump. As soon as her feet left the earth, she heard the explosion behind her. A scorching wave of heat enveloped her, roaring in her ears and propelling her forward at a much faster speed than she had intended. Something crashed into her from behind, and Tali feared that she had been hit by a huge piece of shrapnel, but then she felt Scourge's arms locking around her. Her vision blurred and chunks of metal, stresscrete and dirt sped past her. The ground was flying up awfully fast and Tali tucked her body into a ball in preparation for the impact.

Against her, she felt Scourge doing the same, his huge bulk curling over her. He hit the ground and spun into a roll, taking Tali with him, still clutching her against his chest and blocking her from the brunt of the collision. They skid to a stop in the dirt with Scourge's body arching over hers. She drew the Force around the both of them, shielding them from the blistering heat as the remainder of the explosion passed over them. Then, at last, silence descended.

She became aware of Scourge breathing hard against her, and could feel the touch of his facial jewelry against one of her lekku. For a moment neither of them moved, and then Scourge uncurled from around her. Tali got to her feet.

She knew better than to thank him. Shows of gratitude implied altruistic motives which he was always quick to deny. So instead she offered a complement.

"Nice move."

He nodded to her and dusted himself off. "You are uninjured?"

"I think so."

His eyes scanned her from head to toe and then he grunted as if satisfied. Tali pulled out her holopad.

"Well, we obviously took a wrong turn somewhere. I wasn't expecting to encounter a Regulator camp here. I think we need to take the low path across the mesa next time."

She tapped through a few maps of the area, first a road map and then a topographical one.

"All right. I've got it now. We lost a little time but I can holo Kira and let her-Scourge, you're hurt."

Tali lowered the holopad and pointed to the ground at Scourge's feet. A dark puddle was forming next to his left boot. "You're bleeding pretty badly actually. Where's it coming from?" She'd discovered that since Scourge couldn't feel pain, he was sometimes oblivious to even major wounds.

He held up his left arm, glancing at the sleeve of his armor, which was clearly soaked. "I'm fine. We can take care of it later."

"Well, you're making a mess then. There's no way I'm going to let you trot around dripping gore like that."

"I wasn't planning on doing much 'trotting,' Jedi. You're wasting time."

Tali ignored him and put away the holopad. "I'm getting you cleaned up. Hang on." She got Kira on the holo to inform her that they were behind schedule.

"What's going on? You two ok?" Kira's image appeared in Tali's hand.

"We got into a bit trouble and Scourge got hit with some shrapnel. We'll be along once we get him patched up."

"What's this about shrapnel? And unless Scourge is missing a limb, I doubt he'll even notice."

"Give us another hour. See you then." Tali cut the transmission and let out a loud sigh.

Scourge had peeled off his armored chest piece and was craning his neck to inspect the back of his upper arm. He was covered in blood. It was a scene made even weirder by Scourge's preternatural calm.

"Your undershirt's soaked. You better-" Tali's suggestion was cut short as Scourge grabbed a fistful of his shirt and tugged, ripping the sleeve off at the shoulder.

"Well, that works too, I guess."

There was a large gash along the back of his bicep and it looked deep. Tali pulled out a medpac and began rummaging through it. Since he didn't need any painkillers, she could get right to work on getting a coagulant applied to stop the bleeding.

Scourge saw her headed towards him and slumped onto a nearby rock, staring ahead.

Once she got the bleeding slowed, Tali laid a hand gently over the gash. She was competent with only the basic forms of Force healing which all Jedi would introduced to, which should be enough until they got Scourge to a better equipped medcenter. In time, the wound would also heal itself through whatever dark power kept Scourge alive, but she wasn't sure how long this would take and had never tried to find out.

She took her time, wrapping herself in the light of the living Force, feeling it course through her and out her palm. She could feel the dark smudge of power that infused Scourge's flesh fighting her attempts to heal while simultaneously trying to take over and do the deed itself. She tried to work around it, but the sensation was distracting. When she finished, she opened her eyes, her hand lingering for a moment against Scourge's arm. The interior tissue damage was still considerable, but at least the wound was closed now and no longer bleeding freely.

Tali had fought Sith Purebloods before, but had never been so close to one during a calm moment like this. There were countless alien races within the Republic, but Purebloods were unique to the Empire and it was rare to see them elsewhere. Many of them seemed larger than life, with their bright eyes, scarlet skin and sharp, pointed faces. Scourge shared the features of this ancient lineage, but there was an extra charisma about him that felt both weighty and compelling. Tali couldn't imagine letting her guard down around any Sith, let alone Scourge, but she realized that she enjoyed the thrill of his company. He was irritable and sullen at times, but he was also insightful and decisive, open to her questions, and curious - if not supportive - of Jedi ways.

He was sitting now with head was bowed and his back to her, his gaze trained on his clasped hands. His arm muscles beneath her palm were corded and strong, and she could easily conjure up the sensation once again of them fitted tightly around her. He had warned her of the impending blast, and Tali would have expected nothing more from a combat partner than that. But Scourge had gone a step further, making an effort to protect her from the fallout, and had showed concern afterwards that she was well. It was also his suggestion that he come with her on this mission in the first place, since both Doc and Kira were laid up sick on the ship with some annoying local bug. _ It means nothing_, she told herself. _He wants to keep me alive so that I can fulfill his vision. That's all._

Tali rarely got to have such a detailed look at Scourge's face like this, but with him seated he was closer to her eye level than normal. Purebloods were known for having bony ridges and facial tendrils and Scourge had both. Tali could see now though that the striations along Scourge's skin extended even to the back of his bald scalp, where a ribbon of little v-shaped lines were present. Tali did not care much for human facial hair, considering it too prickly and preferring instead the smooth, hairless skin of her own Twi'lek race. Scourge's facial tendrils took the place of where a human's beard and mustache would be, but they looked soft, a decided contrast from the protruding ridges along Scourge's eyebrows. She wondered what it would feel like to touch one. _What am I thinking? This is crazy._

Scourge startled her out of her reverie by sliding an arm around her waist, swiveling towards her and drawing her close. She was too taken off guard at first to react.

"I can feel your desire, Jedi." His voice was a rumble against her throat. "It is a pale shade of what my own used to be, but I welcome the feel of it once again through you."

Tali resisted the urge to push away from him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of feeling her struggle. This was nonsense. She didn't feel that way about Scourge! Did she? The thought that she could have revealed such personal musings chagrined her.

Tali made the mistake then of catching his gaze, and was held fast in a red-eyed stare, his face close near hers. He slid a hand around one of her lekku, drawing it slowly through his fingers.

"The Sith in me is eager to oblige you..." The end of her lekku dropped lightly from his outstretched hand. "...but I cannot. All pleasures of the body are denied to me." He looked away suddenly and released her.

Tali stumbled backwards, trying to gather her composure.

"All right, I find you attractive, I admit it." She tried to will away the blush that was creeping up the pale green skin of her cheeks. "But that's as far it goes. I am not a slave to vice like the Sith."

"Is that so?" Scourge stood. "Then you have nothing to fear from me."

He walked away. Tali took a few slow breaths and then followed.

00o00

Now it was Tali's turn to be ill. She sat propped in bed, fading in and out of a light doze, when she heard a noise in the doorway. Her eyelids felt as heavy as weights, but she managed to pry them open.

It was Scourge.

"Hi," she said. She tried to sit up further, feeling the urge to tug her bed covers a bit higher. She didn't really feel like being social, and talking to Scourge always seemed to require effort. She was wary and alert when he was near, and today her heart was fluttering a little too fast in her chest. _I hate being sick_, she thought.

Scourge came into the room, walking stiffly. He held out a bowl.

"Hey, you brought me my soup." Tali took it from him and balanced it on the tray in front of her. There was no way Scourge had done this act of kindness without there being another, more practical reason for his visit, so Tali looked up, waiting for him to reveal it.

"I've found one of the Emperor's Hands. They are the Emperor's personal servants who act as his agents throughout the galaxy. I don't know how many of them are left, but there could be at least a dozen."

Ah, there it was. Tali wasn't really in the mood to talk business, let alone something as weighty as the Emperor, but she tried to stay focused.

"Oh?"

"It's a fortuitous lead. I recommend we pursue it."

"It's a start. Can it wait a few days though? I'm...not quite myself."

"I see that. It can wait."

"Good." Tali sipped her soup, expecting Scourge to leave, but he was still there, casting a huge shadow over her bed.

Finally, he spoke again. "You said you thought there might be a way to...cure me."

Tali looked up. "I have a few ideas. I was thinking of enlisting the Council's help."

"No." Scourge cut his hand through the air. "The last time I was in the presence of your Council, I felt nothing but a jumble of hate, disgust and fear from them. They will not help me and they resent my presence."

"I know." Tali sighed. There was no use denying it. "But they are some of the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy and I expect it will take their combined efforts to heal you."

"Then it is a useless endeavor. Besides, it is not only Sith ritual which transformed me. The Emperor did...other things...to my body."

Tali looked up. "Like what?"

"I remember little of it now. I do not think it can be undone."

"Well, I haven't given up yet. I still believe anything is worth a try. Maybe we cannot undo your immortality, but perhaps we can restore your ability to feel."

Scourge was quiet and Tali looked up from her spoon to see him staring at the floor, his face empty and still. When he spoke again, his voice was soft.

"I still remember the feel of sunlight on my skin. The scent of favorite foods." He raised his head but his gaze was still unfocused and far away. "The color of my first love's eyes."

Tali set down her spoon, wincing when it clanked loudly against the bowl. "You were in love once?"

Scourge's eyes flicked to her face. "Does that surprise you? Yes, and not _only_ once, although it was a long time ago now."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want your pity."

"I mean, I apologize for making an assumption about you."

Scourge gave her a barely perceptible nod, then turned around and made for the door.

"What color?"

Scourge paused with his back to the bed.

Tali sat up further, trying not to jostle the tray across her lap. "What color were your first love's eyes?"

"Gold," he answered. "Her eyes were the color of sunlight." Scourge's boots thudded against the floor and echoed down the hall as he left.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Stay close to me," Scourge said.

Tali didn't have to be told. Imperial inspection droids were crawling over the Kaas City spaceport and Tali felt as out of place here as a Wampa on Tatooine. She had put her trust in Scourge, uneasily, in order to investigate their lead on one the Emperor's Hands. And so she had made this trip to the capital world of the Empire - the very heart of enemy territory - with Scourge leading the way.

It was dangerous for him to be here as well, but as a Sith lord, he could easily pass unmolested through checkpoints that would have delayed other travelers. Interestingly, it seemed his defection was not common knowledge. Perhaps the Empire was doing damage control by keeping that little fact under wraps, or maybe the Emperor's personal affairs were simply not well known. Scourge walked confidently across the spaceport lobby, his bulk carving a path through the crowd, and Tali followed close behind. She was very consciously aware that Twi'leks were scarce here, and the ones she did see more often than not wore slave collars.

She had made it clear to Scourge that under no circumstance would she accept taking on a disguise as a slave. Thankfully he had readily agreed, assuring her that a simple change of wardrobe was all she would need to pass as a Sith. The last time Tali had been here, she had come as part of a tightly controlled clandestine operation in order to strike at the Emperor. Now, she and Scourge walked the spaceport like common travelers. Just a few Sith lords on business.

A flash of light from a scanning droid swept over her body, causing Tali to blink. Immediately, the droid begin to spin and squawk, emitting a piercing, high-pitched whistle. A split second later a door slid open in the wall nearest them, and two combat droids marched out, heading purposely in their direction.

_Damn!_ Tali had been trying to avoid walking near any of the inspection droids, but they were floating over every meter of this place, and avoiding them was like navigating a minefield. She shot a panicked look Scourge's direction. She was a known Republic war hero, how could she have thought that this plan would ever work?

"Don't speak if you can help it," Scourge said. The droids were rapidly closing the gap between them. Tali turned to give him a nod, but saw that Scourge was already advancing to meet the droids, a lightsaber readied in his grip. When they came in range, Scourge lunged, piercing the innards of the first droid with a forward thrust. He pulled the blade loose and dropped his arm low, jabbing backwards to skewer the second. Then he rotated on the balls of his feet and sliced the top off from the spinning inspection droid. The droid fell silent and collapsed to the ground. It was all over in the span of a few heartbeats.

Tali became aware of the startled exclamations of onlookers, and the approach now of a new threat: a trio of Imperial soldiers. Scourge calmly sheathed his weapon and waited for them to arrive.

The first soldier opened his mouth to speak, but Scourge cut him off before a sound could leave his throat.

"Your defective droid has insulted and inconvenienced me. Don't you do the same."

The soldiers gaped at him. Then the leader managed to find his voice.

"I am terribly sorry my lord. I...I don't know what happened."

"Make sure that it never happens again."

"We will look into the problem immediately, I assure you!"

Scourge turned and stalked away, and Tali followed after him, trying to look nonchalant, even though her heart was pounding. She had been prepared to fight her way out of this place, and now here she was casually strolling out.

She breathed a sigh of relief when they reached the civilian area of the city. Everywhere there were signs of a militaristic society at war, however, and Tali made sure to steer clear of the unpleasant looking pacification droids which roamed the streets, their presence supposedly for "keeping order."

They took a taxi to one of the many nondescript government buildings and then from there a lift up to the Kaas City security office. As they stood in the elevator with the floors speeding past them, Tali glanced at Scourge.

"You handled that well back there. I really thought we were going to be in trouble."

"There still may be trouble when we try to leave." He was staring straight ahead. "We may have to make other arrangements to fly out or go through a less populated spaceport for our return trip."

"All in a day's work though, right?" Tali forced a laugh, trying to lighten the mood, and Scourge shot her a look.

"I will protect you with everything at my disposal. I gave you my word."

Tali started to thank him but stopped herself. She was getting better at understanding Scourge's Sith ways. Instead she crossed her arms, flashed him a grin and tried to affect her haughtiest "Sith lord" voice.

"Well, I expect nothing less from the Emperor's Wrath."

"Good," he answered. She couldn't tell if he even realized that she was teasing him.

When they arrived, the man behind the desk looked up and snapped to attention when he saw them enter.

"Can I help you, my lords?"

"You have a Pureblood woman here. I want to see her." Scourge tone's clearly indicated that he expected compliance to be a given.

"Of course. Are you...ah...family of hers?"

"No." Scourge stared the man down, saying nothing more.

"Oh. Well, that's unfortunate. We have been trying to find relatives." He typed something into a databank and then nodded. "Right this way."

"How long has she been here?" Scourge asked.

"We picked her up four days ago. Found her wandering the jungle. She's nonsensical I'm afraid, and keeps calling herself someone's servant. She won't even give us her name." The officer paused, as if hoping Scourge would supply that information, but when he didn't, the man continued. "We ran an identity scan on her, but we found nothing. I mean, literally nothing. It's like she doesn't exist. Most strange."

He led them to an almost empty cell block and then directed them down the hall. "Last cell in this row. Can't miss her."

The officer started to turn away, but Scourge held up hand.

"I need you to drop the energy barrier on her cell."

"My lord, we normally don't-"

"That isn't a request."

The man blinked at Scourge, his eyes flicking over to Tali and then back at Scourge again. "Certainly, my lords."

They heard her loud off-tune singing long before they reached the cell.

The woman was seated on the floor, rocking back and forth, keening in some language Tali had never heard, or maybe it was just gibberish. She didn't appear to notice or care that her cell had been opened. She was bent over, her long white hair shielding her like veil. She jerked still as they approached.

"The way is dark. Cold. Servant Eight waits."

Suddenly, she twisted her fingers into her hair and began to scream, her hands curling into fists. There was a sickening ripping sound as clumps of her hair came loose in her grip.

"Oh my stars," Tali said over the din, unable to hide the horror from her voice. "What's _wrong _with her?"

"Why?" Servant Eight wailed. She dragged the word out into a tremulous ululation, her voice spiraling higher. "WHY?"

Finally she doubled over, sobbing quietly.

"She is broken. Perhaps it occurred when you attacked the Emperor, or maybe he has discarded her, but either way it will be difficult to extract anything from her now."

At the sound of Scourge's voice, Servant Eight sat up and turned around. She was wrinkled like a nut, with sallow maroon skin, almost more gray than red. She got to her feet, grunting as if the effort pained her.

"You are touched." Her finger stretched out and she tapped Scourge's chest, pulling away again quickly after. "The void awaits you. Beware!"

Without warning, her red eyes shot open and her mouth dropped wide. Tali prepared herself for another scream but none came. Instead a strange gurgling erupted from her throat, and her hands flew to her head. When she spoke again her voice was a hoarse croak, like a scream that had been forced into a whisper.

"Stop! Stopstopstopstopstopstop...oh."

"What's happening to her?"

"She is in agony," Scourge answered calmly. "The Emperor ravages her mind. There is nothing you can do.'

Tali stood transfixed in a state of repugnance and dismay. "We...we must help her somehow. Free her from this pain."

Scourge glanced her way. "The only escape for her is death. You would kill an unarmed woman? I did not think the Jedi believed in such things."

Tali swallowed, speaking quietly. "It would be a mercy."

Scourge crossed his arms and nodded in the woman's direction. "Then do it."

Was he mocking her? Tali looked at Scourge's face, but she saw nothing there but grave acceptance.

Tali removed her lightsaber from her belt and brought it to life in her hand. In the light of its green glow, Servant Eight looked poisoned and sick. _It is a mercy_, Tali thought again.

She went to the woman and touched her on the shoulder. Her red eyes looked up into Tali's. They were dull, but the look she gave was plaintive.

"Why?" she whispered.

"Be at peace now," Tali said gently. She held her weapon poised before the woman's heart, and then, as her own face twisted into a grimace, she drove it through her chest. Tali caught Servant Eight as she slumped to the ground and carefully laid her on the floor.

She stared a moment at the woman's lifeless body and then sheathed her weapon.

"Let's go." She nodded to Scourge and then followed him out.

00o00

Tali stepped into the Council chambers on Tython to find Master Satele and Master Kiwiiks waiting for her. She gave them each a respectful bow, feeling more nervous than she wanted to admit.

"Welcome, Tal'ilavi." Master Satele nodded and gave Tali a polite smile. There was a pause before she continued.

"I understand that you came here seeking our help in a matter concerning Lord Scourge."

"Yes," Tali said. "I believe we can free him from the effects of the Emperor's dark ritual, thereby reversing the damage that was done to him. It will take the cooperation of many Jedi, however."

"This would not be a light undertaking. Why do you want to help Scourge?"

Tali folded her hands in front of her. She had rehearsed this speech in her head many times. "Scourge was essential in helping me defeat the Emperor, and the even the Republic has officially recognized the importance of his contributions. He suffers greatly from this affliction and I believe he deserves the chance to see if he can be helped."

Bela Kiwiiks spoke up next. "Tal'ilavi, I believe your wish to help Lord Scourge comes from a place of kindness and a desire to do good. But we need to know-" she paused and glanced at Master Satele, who nodded, "Do you think Lord Scourge can be redeemed?"

Tali's gaze slunk to the floor. She could tell where this was going already. "I don't know. He believes strongly in the Sith teachings and has had three hundred years to have them deeply embedded in his ways. But I do not wish to abandon anyone as a hopeless cause, even a Sith like Lord Scourge."

Master Satele nodded, as if expecting this answer. "I discussed your request with the rest of the Council after you first contacted me. The Council believes Lord Scourge has no intention of ever relinquishing the dark side. I admire your optimism, Tal'ilavi, but what you ask could have dangerous consequences."

"Does that mean that you are denying my request?"

"The Council cannot assist you in this. The Sith use the strength of their emotions to fuel their power. The Council cannot willfully support an action which is sure to increase the potency of Lord Scourge's power even further."

"I understand," Tali said quietly.

Master Satele walked away, but Master Kiwiiks remained. She stepped forward and placed a hand on Tali's shoulder.

"I hear that Lord Scourge has remained with you even now that the fight with the Emperor is over."

"He has. He believes the Emperor's influence still lingers and has offered to stay until he can be sure that his power base has been thoroughly destroyed."

Master Kiwiiks nodded. "I see. Be mindful of him spending so much time with you. It is one thing to work with a Sith on a short term basis, but Sith have a way of weaseling into your consciousness and manipulating even your best intentions."

"Scourge did not ask me to come here today," Tali said. "In fact he discouraged it. He does not believe he can be helped."

"And he may be right. Let me leave you then with this: Don't go looking for trouble."

"Thank you, Master Kiwiiks. I will keep that in mind."

00o00

Tali lay in bed that night, her thoughts swirling in circles. What were her motives in wanting to help Lord Scourge? _Jedi help people. It is the right thing to do._ It wasn't really that simple though, was it?

She thought of the look on Scourge's face when he had described his memories, the hope in his voice when he had asked if she was really going to help him. He didn't sound like a Sith then. He sounded genuine. Haunted. As long as he remained tied to the Emperor, like Servant Eight, he was in danger of succumbing to the same fate. If Tali had the ability to help him, she _had_ to act.

Scourge was working for the Republic's interests now, even if his motives were personal and not political. Tali couldn't imagine any way that he would be accepted back into the Empire again. To them he was a traitor of the worst kind. Even if he could be restored to his original state, Tali couldn't see how that would hurt the Republic, or the Jedi for that matter. _The Council refuses to help him simply because he is Sith. There is no other reason._

Scourge cared little for the medals and praise he had received. Freedom from the Emperor's curse was the only thing he truly desired. What had he been like before the Emperor had changed him? Tali tried to imagine a younger Lord Scourge, before he had turned so jaded. She tried to picture him surprised, or joyous, or sorrowful. Or lost in the throes of love. The last one was the hardest.

As a Jedi, she had been taught to regard the Sith as the ultimate enemy. They were dangerous, untrustworthy, ruthless, and cruel. They were monsters. These were not just tales either, Tali knew. Some of the Sith she had fought had felt like wells of darkness, so tainted by evil that they were long past redemption. She did not often think of the Sith as people who did everyday things, like stub their toes or enjoy a rainbow or have their arms fall asleep while watching holodramas. Hearing Scourge speak of his longing for simple daily experiences again had made him sound like just a _person_. Was it dangerous to think of the Sith this way?

Didn't the Jedi preach compassion?

Tali made up her mind. If the Jedi Council wouldn't help Scourge, she would find a way to do so herself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Tali left the Temple library, her steps eager and swift. She found Scourge outside in the dark, dueling a practice droid in the courtyard. It was hard enough travelling through the Republic with a hulking Sith lord walking at her side; here on Tython, Scourge would have attracted too much attention if he had dared test his skills in front of the Padawans at the academy. It was late into the evening now, however, and there was no one around to see. Scourge was pounding the combat droid into submission again and again, resetting it and beginning anew after each victory. He looked bored.

She approached the edge of the square just as the droid's holographic head sailed through the air high above her, coming to rest in the grass well outside the practice range. After a second it flickered and vanished.

Scourge joined her at the side of the dirt arena and nodded to her. "Do you want to spar?"

"Umm. No."

He shrugged. "Would be a far better challenge than this droid." He wandered back into the middle again. "Did you find anything in the library?"

"Actually, I did."

Scourge reset the holo sequence and picked up the practice blade he'd left on the dirt. He began a series of lunges and spins, easily hacking off all the droid's limbs one by one with a few flourishes for good measure. If Tali didn't know better, she would have assumed he was showing off for her. He wasn't though.

Was he?

"So," she called out, hoping he was actually listening, "turns out there's supposed to be a large power crystal in a cave near the ruins of Kaleth. That's not far from here. I was thinking...we could use it to concentrate our power and consolidate it, creating Force energy that is far more potent than either of us could achieve alone. With the crystal, we may not even need the help of other Jedi."

Scourge stopped and turned to face her. "You really think this could work?"

"I think it's worth a try."

"Why are you doing this for me?" Scourge gave Tali a careful look.

"You helped me defeat the Emperor. I doubt I could have accomplished that without you."

"I did not do this _for_ you," Scourge said. "but rather _because_ of you. Do not confuse the two. You owe me nothing."

Tali put a hand on her hip. "A little gratitude wouldn't kill you, you know." He was being an irascible pain.

"I'll be grateful if it works. I just want you to know that none of your Jedi charity is necessary."

"Your opinion has been noted. Let's head out tomorrow."

"I'll be ready." Scourge shut down the holo image and then came to stand at her side. "A few months ago, you would have gotten flushed and upset with me after a conversation like that. I wonder if I am losing the ability to surprise you."

Tali started walking and Scourge followed alongside her. "Maybe I _am_ upset."

"No, I would know. For a Jedi, you broadcast your thoughts awfully loud."

That was sometimes a weakness of hers. Now she was blushing for real.

"You are unusually good at ferreting them out."

"That is true as well."

"Humility isn't one of your strong points, is it?"

"Sith speak the truth as it is, not as others might wish it to be."

Together they walked back to the transport taxi and then headed to the spaceport, where Tali's ship rested in the hangar. Once inside, Tali realized just how tired she was. She hoped that tonight she would not be plagued by any of the unusual dreams she'd been having of late. The most recent one had featured Scourge in a most...bizarre way. Tali pushed it quickly from her mind.

When she got to the door to her bedroom, Scourge walked by, looking down as he passed her.

"Sweet dreams, Jedi." There was a twinkle in his eye.

_Damn it._

00o00

The next morning they stood at the entrance to the cave. It had not been easy to find. The opening was long overgrown with vines and thick layers of brush, although once they found it, inside there was a path roughly laid with stone markers. As Tali suspected, the markers led them to the cavern where the crystal was held.

Upon first sight, the crystal looked anything but impressive, and Tali feared the worst. It was sitting lopsided in its cradle, looking as if a mere jostle would set it toppling from its pedestal. Dust clouded its facets, obscuring any reflective surface it should have had. It looked dull and lifeless as a common stone, and Tali felt her heart sink.

Scourge went to it, drawn like it called to him with a voice only he could hear. The crystal stood a full head higher than Scourge was tall, and he circled it as if sizing up an opponent, stopping at last before it, apparently satisfied. He stepped up to the pedestal and reached for the stone, righting it again in its holder and smoothing the dust from its surface. The way he caressed the stone with care, even reverence, reminded Tali of how much the results of this ritual meant to him. When he at last stepped away, the stone appeared translucent once more.

Scourge began stripping off his armor, leaving a neat pile by one of the cave walls. When he turned back towards the crystal, Tali could see the v-shaped bony ridges down his chest, revealed through the opening in his shirt. Curiosity made her gaze linger, but she forced herself to look away.

Nearby was a worn spot on the floor, and Scourge knelt there, adopting a posture of meditation. For a moment, he looked like a Jedi with his head bowed and his hands folded in his lap. Perhaps this was the closest he would ever become to being a Jedi, caught as he was in a state of perfect detachment. Is this truly what the Jedi strived for? To become emotionless drones like Lord Scourge, unable to experience the richness of the world around them? Tali was struck then by how incomprehensible the Jedi must appear to Scourge, and probably all Sith. She shook the thought from her mind.

She knelt in front of the stone at the point opposite Scourge.

"Are you ready?"

Scourge raised his head and nodded to her. "Proceed. Do not stop, Jedi, no matter what happens. I cannot die, so if you fail, this ritual cannot truly harm me. And if you succeed...it will be worth it."

"All right." Tali closed her eyes and reached out to the Force, feeling it alive around her like a brilliant, warm light. Did Scourge experience the Force like a glow of light, or for him was it different? The Force infused her limbs and made her feel weightless. She gathered it close and imagined honing it into a ball of concentrated power, and then when she felt she could encage no more within her grasp, she directed it outward towards the crystal.

The crystal tugged on her, awakening like a living thing, and Tali was vaguely aware that it was beginning to glow, casting a diffuse, pale light throughout the cavern. She clenched her eyes tighter and dug deeper within herself, seeking harmony and balance, reaching for that feeling that let her know that she was truly open; a perfect conduit for the Force. The crystal drew on her gathered power, pulling it from her and amplifying it, until Tali felt it growing around her. She was rooted to the earth, held fast it its power, while tendrils of energy coiled outward from her, spiraling around the crystal and within it. The crystal erupted then like a rapidly blooming flower, throwing rays of energy outward.

She felt Scourge's presence as he grasped for one of the offshoots of power, pulling it towards himself in a vice-like grip. Pure Force energy jumped from the crystal to Scourge's kneeling form, hitting him hard with an invisible bolt of power. Likewise, the link consumed Tali as well, capturing her its sphere, tethering her to the crystal and to Scourge in turn. Startled, Tali pulled back instinctively, but discovered that she was caught fast in the crystal's pull, unable to withdraw now even if she wanted to.

She lost track of time and lost the sense of her own physical presence. She melded with the Force and there in the midst of its thrall, she felt Scourge with her, his own dark power colliding with hers. She had expected the feel of the dark side to be lifeless and cold, but Scourge was a burst of searing heat, cleansing in its intensity. If Tali had any protective energy left to wrap herself in, it was culled away now, leaving her naked and vulnerable. It was terrifying. It was ecstasy.

Tali wasn't sure how long she remained in this state of helpless suspension. Seconds? A lifetime? It was all the same. _There is only the Force._ Tali was distantly aware that Scourge was caught in the midst of a terrible struggle nearby, the crystal pulling him into itself while the Emperor's power, intense and ancient, held him fast. Scourge's presence was like a flame, scorching and bright, while the Emperor was a devouring void. How could Scourge have survived being linked to such a horrifying entity for so long? How had the Emperor not twisted him beyond all recognition? Maybe the detachment that had been imposed upon him was, in its own way, a form of preservation. Anxiety gripped Tali then. She had always assumed that breaking the Emperor's hold would simultaneously restore Scourge's ability to feel, for the two conditions were surely linked, but what if their ritual achieved one and not the other? If Scourge remained tethered to the Emperor, yet open to feeling the crushing weight of his presence, what would happen? She thought of Servant Eight and her madness and torment. What if this ritual scarred Scourge's mind, turning him into a blithering idiot or, worse yet, a monster?

_What if I have to kill him_? Tali thought. She steeled herself inside. _The Force will guide my hand, whatever may happen._

Tali surrendered herself, and there, in the midst of that storm of Force power, she felt Scourge doing the same, felt him cast adrift alongside her, just as lost as she.

Then the crystal went dark and Tali was cut loose. For a moment she felt cold and small, filled with a terrible sense of loss. She reached out, wanting more, wanting to be one with that power again, wanting to be one with the Force, but the crystal had gone silent. She realized she was shaking on the ground, shivering as if cold. She opened her eyes.

The room looked darker than she had remembered it, and the crystal looked dull. Tali pulled herself to her feet and made her way to Scourge's side. What had they wrought with this ritual?

Scourge was stretched out on the ground, kneeling with his hands and forehead against the cold stone. He was alive at least, for his sides were heaving and his shirt was drenched in sweat. Tali crept closer.

His head rose, but he looked blindly past her, his eyes wide and the expression on his face filled with awe. In that moment, Scourge looked more human than Tali had ever seen him, his face displaying an openness that was almost childlike. _It worked,_ Tali thought. _Surely this means it worked._

Scourge jerked to his feet and spun in a clumsy circle, his gaze roving the walls and ceiling of the cave. He stumbled and nearly collided with her, looking startled as if noticing her for the first time. He reached out and cupped her face, stepping closer, his eyes roving rapidly over across her features. His thumb drew a line down her cheek.

"I never knew…" His voice was hoarse, and Tali wondered just how long they had remained together locked within the power of the crystal. "...the color of your skin, your eyes." He took a single ragged breath and pulled away, turning towards the cave entrance. "I need to be in the sunlight."

He ran on shaking legs across the cave and down the tunnel that led outside. Tali stood a moment in silence, and then raced after him.

She found him outside, collapsed on his knees in the grass. He had his face turned towards the sun and his eyes closed, a look of pure, unabashed pleasure written on his face. There were tears wetting his cheeks.

"Oh by the Force," he murmured. "It is too much, too strong." He clutched at his chest and a laugh erupted from him, deep and rich. "It is perfect."

Suddenly his eyes flew open and he vaulted to his feet, spinning in place, stopping when his eyes locked on Tali. He went to her.

"Touch me."

Tali stared at him in surprise, and when she hesitated too long he snatched up her hand and brought it to his face, holding her palm against his cheek. His skin was smooth and warm against her fingers, and he nuzzled her palm, eyes closed, a sigh escaping him.

"So good," he whispered. He drew her hand down and slid it inside the neck of his shirt, pressing her hand to the wide plane of his chest. Tali could feel the gentle thrum of his heart beneath her fingertips, and when she looked up at him, his red eyes were infused with an inner light that actually made them appear to glow. When he at last let go, she drew her hand away reluctantly, feeling slightly abashed at how much she had wanted the moment to endure.

Scourge's hand flew next to his scabbard, and in a moment, a short dagger was in his hand. Before Tali could intervene, he drew the blade across his forearm, hissing as a line blood welled up from the cut.

"Ah. I almost forgot what pain felt like." He curled his hand into a fist. When he opened his hand a dark swirl of Force energy roiled in his palm, revolving like a ball of coiled shadow. He clenched his fists again, both of them this time, and the dark power dissipated. Then he threw back his head and released a throaty, bellowing laugh. It roaring through the valley around them, echoing many times over, fierce and primal and exuberant.

Tali backed away, moved by Scourge's unexpected emotional display, but also cautious. Master Satele was correct that restoring Scourge's capacity to feel again would renew his power as a Sith. His obvious revelry was proof of that. _Please don't let me regret this._

Scourge's laugh was dissolving into sobs, and he fell to his knees again, burying his head in his hands. Tali crept away.

* * *

Author's Note: It's nice to hear from you other Scourge fans out there! And if you are here because you are just curious, that's great too. Now that Scourge is "cured", things are about to get interesting around here...


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: I have elevated the rating on this story from a "T" to an "M" due to the adult themes present in this chapter._

**Chapter 5**

Scourge didn't return to the ship for the rest of that day, or that evening either. As much as it pained her to consider it, Tali wondered if he had abandoned them for good. What was he doing? What if he never came back? She gave the rest of the crew noncommittal answers when they asked where Scourge was, trying not reveal her concern. She went to bed feeling unsettled and disappointed.

Tali awoke in the middle of the night from a startlingly sexual dream. Even in the privacy of her bedroom she felt a flare of embarrassment as she recalled what the dream had entailed - and who it had been with. _Just my brain letting off some steam_, she thought. _It doesn't signify anything._ She sighed aloud. _Except maybe that you are becoming obsessed with Scourge. _ This was bad.

In her mind's eye, she saw Scourge again the way he had been yesterday, kneeling in the dirt, face turned to the sky, eyes closed. The ecstasy on his face was so raw, so personal, that Tali had felt like she was intruding on a private moment.

She tossed in bed. Was there a chance that he had come back during the night? Finally she gave up wondering and went to check. The door to the storage room where he slept was closed. Tali felt a thrill pass through her. The door was always left open unless Scourge was inside. She lighted touched the door and reached out through the Force. He was there.

She hurried away.

The ship's galley was dark and quiet as she made her way in and began to heat up some sweetened nerf milk. She cupped the mug in her hands and released a pent up breath. She wondered what the Jedi Council would say if they knew what she had done. Was it safe to have Scourge aboard her ship now? She would reserve judgment until she had a chance to see how Scourge was faring.

From behind her there was a faint rustle. Tali turned. Scourge was there, wearing nothing but a simple pair of drawstring pants. _Don't stare, Tali._ In armor, Scourge was a mountain of brawn, and Tali could only imagine the terror his opponents felt in their last moments when they saw him hurtling toward them, his arm raised for the kill, his lightsaber casting a luminescent blur through the air. Some men were lessened without the benefit of armor to bulk them up, but Tali thought Scourge was even more impressive without it. He was strongly built and hale, with a wide chest, corded shoulders, and muscular arms that looked nearly the size of Tali's thighs. Her eyes travelled downward, taking in his tight stomach and the low sling of his pants around his hips.

_By the Force, someone help me. I'm massively attracted to a Sith. This can't be good._

"Can't sleep either?" Tali tried to sound casual, but her heart was already racing. _It was just a dream._

"No." Scourge came further into the room and gestured at the mug in her hands. "What are you drinking?"

He'd never shown curiosity over such things before, but Tali imagined that he might now take interest in a great many things since the ritual.

"Just some warm milk."

He held out his hand. "I would like to try some."

Tali shrugged and handed him the mug. He brought it to his lips and took a slow drink, then paused, considering the taste.

"Hmm." He handed her the mug.

His eyes met hers and stayed there, making Tali acutely aware of the silence throughout the ship, his lack of dress, and their being alone in the galley so late at night.

"I want you to know," he began, but then he paused as if the words only found their way out with much effort. "I want you to know that I am...grateful, for what you did."

"You're welcome." Tali recalled the way he had touched her face with such wonder in the cave and looked away, busying herself with another sip from the cup.

"However," he added, more boldly now, "you should have asked for something in return. You knew I would have given much to be rid of the Emperor's curse."

"That was not necessary. I wanted to do it."

"As usual, you Jedi do not see opportunity when it is plainly offered to you."

"I don't need repayment."

"But there _is_ something you want."

Tali didn't like the scrutinizing stare she was under. She opened her mouth to deny Scourge's claim, but then closed it again. She tried to come back with some sarcastic retort instead, but could find none.

"Your emotions are strong tonight, Jedi." A smile crossed Scourge's face, satisfaction thick in his voice.

Tali set the mug on the counter next to the sink, dropping it more roughly than she intended. Did he know the contents of her recent dream? Tali's mouth felt dry and her legs a bit shaky. _I'm exhausted, that's all it is._

She made to leave the kitchen, but had to crush by Scourge to do so. He stepped aside, just barely.

"Tali." He rarely called her by her first name, and the sound of his voice purring over those syllables gave her a shiver. She paused, all too consciously aware that the doorway they were standing in brought them into close proximity.

"You gave me this gift," Scourge said. "I am capable now, and willing. If you are too shy to ask, then I am offering. Take me to your bed."

What did one say to something like that? Tali's heartbeat was unbearably loud in her ears and her thoughts felt scattered and uncertain. Having fantasies about Scourge was alarming enough, but to have them made real was far more than she could handle. Then there was the problem of Scourge presenting his offer as a trading of favors. Should she be insulted?

Tali took a step back and looked him in the eye. "That's not why I did this." She paused, feeling a hint of irritation coming on to replace her embarrassment. "And I don't like the idea that you are doing this as a way to _repay_ me."

A low noise came from Scourge's throat that Tali thought might have been a chuckle. "You misunderstand. I wouldn't come to you like this if it weren't something that I wanted as well."

"I don't know if this is what I want." Tali stared ahead but Scourge was there, his bare torso directly in her line of vision. His rich, red skin looked smooth and taught and Tali had to struggle to resist the desire to reach out and touch him.

"Do you need convincing?"

He moved forward, close enough that Tali could feel the heat from his chest, and his hand slid behind her neck. Tali looked up and held her breath, expecting him to kiss her, but instead he placed his lips against her forehead. A second hand cupped her cheek and Tali's eyes slid closed as he cradled her face in his hands, his nose and lips whispering over her skin, down her cheek, around her jaw, heading south for her collarbone. His breath was a caress, leaving behind a trail of bumps where it passed, stirring up the longings from her recent dream. Tali had not been expecting this gentle exploration. It left her more confused than ever.

"Why do you fight your desire?" His voice was a vibration against her cheek. Tali felt him withdraw and opened her eyes. He was looking into her face. "There is a disconnect between your body and your mind. The Jedi have done you a disservice by teaching you this. You must unlearn it."

"This is…" Tali struggled to find her breath, "too sudden. I'm not ready."

There was a light in Scourge's eyes that Tali had never seen before. Mischievous, maybe even predatory. "Getting you ready for me will not be a problem."

Tali backed away. "That's...not what I meant!" A whispering in the back of her mind was urging her to give in and she shoved it aside with effort.

"You are saying that you need something else then, a deeper connection between us? I thought the Jedi were against creating such attachments."

Tali had no counter arguments left. He had talked her into a trap.

His voice grew quiet and he leaned close again. "We are tied together by three hundred years of destiny. Is that not enough?"

Tali resisted looking him in the eye, unable to meet that stare that always felt too probing. "I can't. I'm a Jedi and you are a Sith. We...we can't do this."

Scourge breathed out slowly and stepped back. His voice when it came next was reprimanding and tinted with anger.

"I understand why your Council tries to control you. What I will never comprehend is why you _let_ them."

He walked away and a few moments later Tali heard the sound of the storage room latching. Her heart felt heavy and conflicted as she wandered back to bed. She'd had her share of men come on to her; in fact Doc, her own ship's medic, was constantly engaging in a good-natured flirtation, but she'd never felt so uncertain, so unbalanced, as she did with Scourge.

Tali had never pretended to be the perfect rule-abiding Jedi. She did believe wholeheartedly in seeing the Order's goals of galactic peace realized, and no Jedi was more dedicated to leading the charge than she. Joining the Order had been one of her proudest moments. She'd lived on the streets with her older brother for years when a kind-hearted Twi'lek spacer had taken them both in. While her brother had had trouble adjusting to his new life, Tali had thrived. Captain Visia was a vigilante, smuggling slaves to freedom throughout the galaxy, and Tali enjoyed feeling like she too could be a part of someone's heroic story. So when her Force sensitivity was discovered, she went willingly into the Order, eager to become a protector of the weak and a defender of the helpless and all those wonderful things that Jedi were said to be. With the Jedi, she could be a hero _for real_.

But they'd had so many _rules_, some of which simply weren't practical. Tali asked too many questions, found loopholes, and stretched the limits of what she was allowed so many times that at one point she had feared she would get thrown out. Her sincerity and drive is what saved her perhaps, or maybe it was the fact that she was easily one of the best lightsaber duelists of her generation, and the Order didn't want to throw away that kind of talent when there was a war going on. In the end, Tali believed that a genuine dedication to the light was really the only rule any Jedi needed.

Which brought her thoughts back to Lord Scourge.

There were Jedi, paragons within the Order, who practiced complete chastity. Tali was not one of them.

Early on, Tali had interpreted the Jedi Order's admonishments against relational attachments very literally. She had allowed herself to get physically involved with someone, a handsome, charismatic Nautolan, believing that as long as no commitment was declared between them, she was obeying the rule's intent. Indeed, Tali soon discovered that among certain Jedi it was not an uncommon practice, although it was officially frowned upon.

After that one experience, she had not done so again. She had simply been too occupied with the greater mission at hand, which made personal pleasures felt like an impossible indulgence.

She'd done such a thing in the past, so why not now?

_Because we're working together as long-term partners_, she thought. _ That's different._

Was she afraid of becoming attached to Scourge? She chewed this thought over for a long time. She had had no qualms or guilt about establishing a tight friendship with Kira. She had no fears that either of them were compromised in their mission, in spite of the fact that she fully expected to work alongside Kira for a long time. What was the difference, then?

Her friendship with Kira was steady and strong. It anchored her. But Scourge...She'd never felt so dizzy with longing, so breathless and nervous as she did with him around. The combination of lust and a true, genuine attachment, if such a thing were possible with a Sith, would be dangerous and unknown. It was frightening. Her heart did not feel safe around Scourge.

Clandestine relationships were not unheard of among Jedi, and Tali was aware that even marriages were occasionally sanctioned by the Council under certain circumstances. She couldn't imagine any circumstance, however, where a Jedi could justify becoming involved with a Sith. Tali always thought that she knew better than to get herself tangled up in the romantic drama that so often plagued non-Force sensitives. She was not averse to feeling, and enjoying, an attraction to the opposite sex, as long as logic ruled her actions. But her attraction to Scourge did not feel logical. It felt reckless and forbidden.

_I was right to refuse him,_ she thought. _I must stay strong._


End file.
